Two Months

Dear little Kaelyn,

I am a little late with this post because every time I thought about what has transpired in the past two months, and what I have learned, I couldn't find a way to begin to put it all into words. That, and the fact that taking care of you has commanded much more attention than writing to you. Still, I want to commemorate some of what has happened... and so, with you finally peacefully asleep in the crook of my arm, I'm here, typing one-handed -- which I've learned to do quite well in the past nine weeks!

Your two month check-up at the doctor's went well this past week. At 9 lbs. 10 oz. and 22 inches, you're still on the petite side, but oh, how you have grown in my eyes! Every week I am half dismayed, half tickled to find evidence of your growth. These size 1 diapers actually fit pretty well now! or, How is it that these pants that fit fine a couple of weeks ago suddenly seem like capris on you? or even, These 0-3 month clothes actually look like they're being worn by you, instead of the other way around!  I knew it would be so, but it truly is amazing to watch the cliché -- "they grow so fast!" -- being fulfilled, live, right in front of me.

You've become much more alert and social in the past month or so. I remember the first few times you actually locked eyes with me, gazing into my face, and I wondered if you liked what you saw. I remember how much I delighted the first time I saw you smile... and even more so when you first gifted me with a real, gurgly, contented laugh! With the increased wakefulness has also come difficulty in getting you to go to sleep, where before you used to drift off so easily... you're just not buying that you need sleep more than more playtime!

Since you came, my life has completely changed. Not just because of the round-the-clock feedings, changing, and rocking to sleep -- but I have been learning so much about myself through taking care of you. I'm slowly beginning to grasp what it really means to love selflessly, plus the first little taste of what it means to parent by choosing what is best for you even if it's not what you want at the time (ie. sleep vs. playtime). I'm learning to be more patient, to gauge my emotions before I react outwardly. I definitely don't always have the best attitude as a mom, and the learning will certainly never cease, but I pray every day that God will help me to be the best I can be, for you.

Love you, little girl!